Just when I was about the let it go... give up completely... resign myself to WAIT! Something happened. Two brain-cells collided on the way to the market and this thing... It was hard to find a direction that felt genuine. I know, an artist residency; one should feel full of inspiration, free and energized! But sometimes it's the complete opposite. What do I do now that all the obstacles have been put away [temporarily]? How do I make work in a vacuum? It's not a vacuum. There are smells and sounds and history and the rabbits here are HUGE! Any who... I found something that felt pretty true.
"Lessons from the Forest Part 1 & 2. Featuring Sasha Petrenko (all words, music and American English voice), Idilko Frank, German voice and translation, and Alex from Mac OS X text to voice feature. LFF is a "radio-play" about finding and losing oneself in an ever-expanding universe. Multi-media version with video (and subtitles) in production. Parts 3 and 4 coming soon."
It's just a draft. I still need to re-record some of my parts. But so far, it's something. I'm glad. It's mostly based on my research into ecology, getting lost in the forest, photosynthesis and Timothy Morton's idea of the Hyperobject and how that displaces our sense of nature and the world. This is not an answer, it is more of a questioning, a struggle to find my place within the ecosystem. And one can't help but have some let some personal emotions leak into the process, at least I could not, not now. It wouldn't be true. I'm a bundle of nerves.
Lessons from the Forest
I need to set some boundaries
I want a separation. I need to know where I end
If there are no edges how do I know where I am
Why can’t it be black and white
Can’t we have the old borders back
Isn’t there a way to have them but not hurt anyone
I don’t want it to be so grey
everyday I go into the forest
I try to stay on familiar trails
but when I think of you I get turned around
and I don’t know where I am anymore
I don’t know where the edge is
if I lay down a while
I don’t really care
but then I’m cold
and my instincts tell me to get up
I’m not a pig
I’m not a dolphin
I’M A HUMAN
why can’t I touch anything without it changing
An ecosystem consists of both biotic and abiotic factors. We are biotic in that we live and we die. To be abiotic is to never live, like a stone a stream or a mountain. Within an ecosystem both biotic and abiotic elements will affect change upon the other in a complex web of relationships.
In a forest
the ecosystem relies on species diversity
to continually evolve under
changing environmental conditions.
An abiotic disturbance like
or climate change
will impact a monoculture more harshly.
It lacks the creativity to respond.
It is inflexible in it’s ability to adapt
A diverse community will suffer lower mortality due to the variance among it’s members.
In some cases disturbance is essential for growth.
I am not myself
I’m not feeling myself
My mouth moves
but no words come out
mind soup pulse
street foam car lynx
lamp book key zoo ship
weed cow cow train grass
stick stick stick
snag stump seal rock
rock king crane wind tree
tree tree self tree tree self
finch oil oil ox
rock bird star
Plants are sessile, they remain in one place.
They use wind, fire, animals and water to spread their seeds.
Lichen is a plant made up of three unique organisms.
It grows most readily where the air is free of toxins.
Growing in the canopy of trees, it provides essential
Nitrogen for the forest below.
Lichen consists of algae, fungi and cyanobacteria
working together in symbiotic relationship.
Plants have evolved
to survive both
biotic and abiotic factors.
Collaboration, not competition
increases survival in the forest.
What does it mean
If I am not myself
Am I selfless
I need to set some boundaries
what kind of enlightenment is this
Words come out of my eyes
You tilt your head to understand
Through a process known as photosynthesis
plants provide the oxygen
we need to survive.
Photosynthesis requires water, light and oxygen.
Inside the leaves of a plant are chloroplasts which
contain thylakoid stacks.
Light and C-O-2 combine in a chemical reaction
that splits the water molecule
releasing the Oxygen
while making sugar
This thing you told me I could have
if only i was good enough
it was is was
I could close my eyes and sleep
and dream of you
that was still there
despite the wreckage
it was never
A forest is an open system
External factors become internal
Rings of influence multiply
into the system
there is no edge.
Sasha Petrenko, 2015